Thursday, July 01, 2004
Haiku’s of Life
For today’s post, I have decided to write about some mainstream societal issues that are plaguing our country. In order to do this effectively, I decided to explain myself in Haiku format. If you don’t know what a haiku is, let me give you a quick tutorial.
The first line must consist of 5 syllables.
The second line must consist of 7 syllables.
The third line must consist of 5 syllables.
That’s it! The last rule of haiku is to have fun. So please enjoy and please follow the rules.
The first issue I will be discussing is that of teenage pregnancy:
Killing babies fast
In time to go to the prom
No blood on my dress
My next haiku will be on the subject of drug addiction.
Put it up your nose
Inject it into your arm
A life of bullshit
As we also know, Michael Jackson is in the midst of a mess involving pedophilia. It’s sad really, especially for someone who has accomplished so much in his life as a music superstar. He will fight and fight to clear his name, but I thought I could share with you how I feel about his innocence.
You did it, did it.
Did it did it did it did
Did did did did it
With the presidential race looming in the background of our lives, I might as well express my feelings via Haiku. Here’s one about the current douche bag in office and here’s one about the future douche bag in office.
George W. Bush
Makes poor decisions all day
Unemployment calls
John Kerry is nice
John Kerry is really nice
John Kerry John Kerry nice
Were you wondering what I thought about Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie? Sure you were. Here gizzles:
Why are you famous?
Skinny, drug addled goof balls
I miss the Ledings
Saddam Hussein is now on trial for all of the torture he has caused the Iraqi people over the last couple of decades. It is only fair that I give him his just desserts.
You cleaned up real nice
But your heart is black and cold
Soon you will die, yay
To make sure that this post is fair and balanced, I should do a very honest and self-effacing haiku about myself. Here it is, for your viewing pleasure.
Why are you so cute?
Funny and Sexy and gay
You used to be fat
Tomorrow is my birthday. I will be 27 years old. My friends have planned a weekend full of activities and my boyfriend (aside from yelling at me for no reason this morning) will be spending some quality alone time with me. I hope this haiku describes my birthday to a T.
One year older now
You are the boss of your day
Hurt someone’s feelings
Isn’t everyone a birthday tyrant? I hope I can make everyone happy by running my birthday as a dictator. Dictator Hussein. Cept that I won’t get the CHAIR for my tyranny. Unless that’s the surprise my friends are talking about. They did tell me to leave out my hair gel and to wet my forehead with a damp cloth before meeting up with them. Interesting…
So finally, I leave you with one last Haikooze. I’ll be back next week with full stories about my weekend. Until then…fuck you! Er…I mean, fuck me. I mean…ah fuck you.
Long weekend starts now
I will sleep and jerk my dick
Birthday cum tastes sweet
Say “Peace Out” everybody!
PEACE OUT EVERYBODY!
For today’s post, I have decided to write about some mainstream societal issues that are plaguing our country. In order to do this effectively, I decided to explain myself in Haiku format. If you don’t know what a haiku is, let me give you a quick tutorial.
The first line must consist of 5 syllables.
The second line must consist of 7 syllables.
The third line must consist of 5 syllables.
That’s it! The last rule of haiku is to have fun. So please enjoy and please follow the rules.
The first issue I will be discussing is that of teenage pregnancy:
Killing babies fast
In time to go to the prom
No blood on my dress
My next haiku will be on the subject of drug addiction.
Put it up your nose
Inject it into your arm
A life of bullshit
As we also know, Michael Jackson is in the midst of a mess involving pedophilia. It’s sad really, especially for someone who has accomplished so much in his life as a music superstar. He will fight and fight to clear his name, but I thought I could share with you how I feel about his innocence.
You did it, did it.
Did it did it did it did
Did did did did it
With the presidential race looming in the background of our lives, I might as well express my feelings via Haiku. Here’s one about the current douche bag in office and here’s one about the future douche bag in office.
George W. Bush
Makes poor decisions all day
Unemployment calls
John Kerry is nice
John Kerry is really nice
John Kerry John Kerry nice
Were you wondering what I thought about Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie? Sure you were. Here gizzles:
Why are you famous?
Skinny, drug addled goof balls
I miss the Ledings
Saddam Hussein is now on trial for all of the torture he has caused the Iraqi people over the last couple of decades. It is only fair that I give him his just desserts.
You cleaned up real nice
But your heart is black and cold
Soon you will die, yay
To make sure that this post is fair and balanced, I should do a very honest and self-effacing haiku about myself. Here it is, for your viewing pleasure.
Why are you so cute?
Funny and Sexy and gay
You used to be fat
Tomorrow is my birthday. I will be 27 years old. My friends have planned a weekend full of activities and my boyfriend (aside from yelling at me for no reason this morning) will be spending some quality alone time with me. I hope this haiku describes my birthday to a T.
One year older now
You are the boss of your day
Hurt someone’s feelings
Isn’t everyone a birthday tyrant? I hope I can make everyone happy by running my birthday as a dictator. Dictator Hussein. Cept that I won’t get the CHAIR for my tyranny. Unless that’s the surprise my friends are talking about. They did tell me to leave out my hair gel and to wet my forehead with a damp cloth before meeting up with them. Interesting…
So finally, I leave you with one last Haikooze. I’ll be back next week with full stories about my weekend. Until then…fuck you! Er…I mean, fuck me. I mean…ah fuck you.
Long weekend starts now
I will sleep and jerk my dick
Birthday cum tastes sweet
Say “Peace Out” everybody!
PEACE OUT EVERYBODY!
